A couple of years ago when we were in hospital, I wondered why no one was offering to help me, why, when caring 24/7 for my disabled (adult) child I had to justify the need for a toilet break, for food, a shower, sleep, fresh air. Later discovering, it was because the nurses had crossed out “any assistance required” on her forms & put “mum with her all the time”. You see, if you don’t respect unpaid carers, expect them to work never ending shifts, don’t treat them as human, in need of breaks as anyone else is legally entitled to, then you are leaving them, expecting them, to care, 24 hours a day, every day of the week. They are not robots. They are human beings in need of the same comfort breaks as any other staff member in that hospital, in need of sleep, like any other staff member working a 12 hour shift. Only, there is no clocking off and on for an unpaid carer, it’s a never ending shift. We might be mum, dad, husband or wife, but we are also a human being, a worker, doing a job, that goes beyond just being a relative. You know, we will never leave them, so, you have got us over a barrel, free to exploit those working the hardest, those who can’t go on strike, who can’t just walk out. If you expect us to work never ending shifts, as you clearly do, otherwise you’d have fixed the issue - then everyone else will do the same. Sacrificing our health, career, finances, family, friends, hobbies and any other life. If you continue to pretend caring for a relative isn’t work, when if someone else did it, it would be, then you are allowing the continued exploitation of unpaid carers.
I can see it, hear it now, “we need to do a carers assessment” .. that lovely assessment where you have to justify the need for “time off”. SW:“Do you really need time to go to the supermarket…. “Can’t you do online shopping”. “I’d really like to do a evening class” “I’d really like to go for a swim once a week and meet a friend for coffee”, “I need to go to the hospital for tests”. SW: “ok, I’ll give you some hours a week, we will start with 8 hours direct payments”. You will have to find suitable carers become their employee, do all the paperwork, timesheets and so on. They’ll get minimum wage (sometimes more). You’ll train them to your relatives needs, doing several shadowing shifts. You’ve no idea about HR but now suddenly, (well that’s if you can find any suitable carers) you are their employer. You may have zero experience but the expectation is on you…
For the 8 hours they do each week, they’ll get £91.52 (or more). They’ll be entitled to breaks, annual leave, sick leave and so on, whereas the unpaid carer, their employer isn’t - expected to work 24 hours a day regardless as to whether you woke up feeling unwell. They’ll do 8 hours for £91.52, the unpaid carer will do the other 160 hours and receive an allowance of just £81.90.
We are not just a relative. We are so much more.
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